I truly seem to be 'losing it' lately. Call it stress, sleepless nights, etc., but something sure is going on.
Yesterday morning I awoke from a nightmare. I never have nightmares nor dream pleasant dreams. My nights are full of wakefulness and dread for reasons I just can't seem to get a handle on. Worry over my hubby, my upcoming surgery, the flu which has hung on far too long to be 'just flu.' I've decided I'm going to take my health in hand and go by good old common sense. Less TV with all the gory pictures and details of our men and women dying in combat, etc. Hubbies war movies that are so loud they make my heart beat faster and I feel I have a perpetual lump in my throat and an upset stomach.
In these times, I think what most of us need is less TV and more music, soothing if you please.
Just to tell you where my mind was yesterday, I'll give you a few clues. After waking from the nightmare, I sat down at my computer and tried to do some quizzes, to get my mind and body to mesh as one. When attempting to stand, I flew into my recliner even though I had no intention of sitting, but my balance was off and it was a relief to have a soft landing.
Hubby said he was hungry and since he'd had surgery on his mouth, I had to make something soft for him to eat. He said he wanted Pancakes. I raised an eyebrow at his request but then remembered how much syrup he likes and figured they would be soggy enough for him to get down. Then I set about fixing the pancake mix. I quickly threw in the Hungry Jack mix, an egg, milk, tad of oil and cinnamon. The cinnamon cap came off and I was carefully scooping tablespoons of the aromatic stuff and throwing them in the waste basket. That done, I started to stir up the batter?? I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it until I gave the box of Hungry Jack another quick glance. 'Instant Potatoes' ran past my eyes. Of course, I use it for thickening my stews. No wonder the mix wasn't the proper consistency. If I had been able to think quickly enough, I could very easily have made potato pancakes with sour cream, but my mind just went on vacation for a few minutes there. Oh well, he wanted pancakes and pancakes he would get.
I cooked them without getting the edges crispy, and he said they were delicious. I just gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head and told him I had to sit down. He grabbed me and held me a few minutes to stabilize me and give me a hug. Then he sweetly said, "Hon, you had better sit down and stay off your feet for awhile since you seem unbalanced." Gee, when did he get his first clue? I've been weaving my way around this house for weeks and blamed it on the flu. With both ears acheing and my face also, I have decided it is my sinuses and will have them checked after my surgery Tuesday. I will be careful and use my cane which decorates the wall usually, but think it smart to use it for what it is intended. It's tough when you realize that you are getting older and unsteady on the feet along with other surprises.
On the plus side, I enjoy the days more and the birds. They seem to empty the feeders as soon as hubby fills them. Even the feral cat has come back early mornings to fill her belly. Such a beautiful cat my hubby and I agree. Pretty green eyes and a coat of the softest shade of grey. We had her trapped and spayed last year, along with her shots so it is the best we could do for her. Once she was retrieved from her cage at the Vet's by the Animal Control Officer, she was let loose in our yard and off she took to the woods. She was always having kittens and we would find them dead due to the animals and freezing weather. She was a wildcat and I don't think the vet would want to go around with her again. Of course she would never allow herself to be trapped again as she is no longer vulnerable with kittens to protect. We do love her and try to help her through the winters. Come summer, she disappears until the first frost. We enjoy her while we can and keep trying to win her trust.
The deer are coming back a few at a time. No herds yet but that will come later when the weather becomes intense. Unfortunately we are unable to feed them this year due to our lack of income. SS doesn't go far with house expenses and food to buy. The cats and birds we can manage but the deer food with molasses and the cracked corn just doesn't fit into our budget anymore. It breaks my heart to see animals go hungry. Especially when the deer are being chased by packs of dogs. The barking seems to go on forever. And how far can they run and how long can they last, running weak and hungry? If only I had a magic wand.
I'd best get off that subject and appreciate the beautiful sunny day this morning. I was going to try to go grocery shopping earlier, but thought I should wait until tomorrow. Then I can cook a few meals to last us because I won't be up to cooking Tuesday nor Wednesday. Thank goodness I have a great son and daughter-in-law who will cook the whole Thanksgiving meal and see that we get fed a delicious turkey dinner. And no clean up!! For me anyway.
Well, I think I have typed long enough and have given you an inkling as to why I haven't been able to keep up with my blog. I will do the best I can in the future but it won't be an every day occurence unless something happens to give me instant energy.
Have a wonderful day and enjoy the sunshine. You need the Vitamin D.
Hugs
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