Skip One Day and ...

Here it is, Halloween already. The way I'm feeling, the broom is ready and waiting for me. And look, it's already in the right position for me to hop on and take a head dunk.

I've so blue over the dreary weather but I'm sure I'd hate the cold more. It's just these leaves keep piling up on the patio and as soon as hubby clears them off, within minutes more start dropping. They are wet and stick to the bottom of your shoes, and without knowing it you bring them in and they are on the kitchen floor, carpets, etc. The cat has fun with them for a little while and then when they are all broken up, she leaves them. My vacuum is working double time. Living in the woods does have it drawbacks at times.

Well, since I've been away, I had one car which needed work and was in the repair shop for over two weeks. We got it back last Friday. Yesterday hubby was going shopping and had been gone for a few hours. I figured he would be awhile since he had to go to Home Depot and the Autozone plus get groceries. I was watching TV when I heard a slam of the patio door. In he came all upset and out of breath. Here I was visualizing him doing his errands and happy to be out and about to do MAN things, and all the time he was broke down in the newly repaired car. He had to call our son to help him out. Turns out the hose to transmission blew loose and the car was absolutely covered in oil. Son brought him 4 quarts and followed him home. He'd only gotten 2 miles away when this happened.

Son and friend worked on the car and told dear Dad to go get a couple gallons of antifreeze. That took him out of the house for another hour. While son and Tim worked on the car, hubby used my old car which had been in for repairs before this last one and I prayed it would last a little longer. Like a few years! He was all geared up to go shopping, like he had first set out to do. He came home with the items on the list and to cheer me up he also bought me a box of eclairs and a half gallon of coffee ice cream. I'm diabetic and in the back of my mind I wondered if he was trying to get rid of me. In a loving way of course.

When the mail came I found that our registration had expired and the RV insurance was due. Oh man, I needed that on top of everything else. Jon went to Motor Vehicle Department In Florida and paid for two years for the registration (the RV is there and he lives in it), and I called the insurance company and renewed the policy by phone. I was having a panic attack in the middle of all this and just wanted to put a bag over my head and pretend I wasn't here.

This whole month has been one crisis after another and when I didn't have my own to deal with, the granddaughter in Colorado would call with hers. Misery loves company I guess. I didn't come to my blog to write because I didn't want to whine and complain. This is my happy place where reality doesn't exist, at least the negative things. Well today I sure blew it didn't I?

On a happy note, my brother and his wife came for a visit from Arkansas. It was so great to see them and even though it wasn't for long, we did get to spend some time with them visiting relatives and eating out. Gosh, do they do dinners or lunches. I got spoiled. I even cooked a ham dinner with all the fixings and had everything cooked and done at the same time. Now that's good for an old gal like me. We've been on special diets but that day we blew it big time. Of course I almost lost the ham trying to get it out of the oven but son, Jon, came to my rescue. He helped me so much and I really appreciated it. I think he wanted to make sure I didn't drop anything, baked ham makes a horrible mess when it slips out of the pan and on to the floor. I know, I've been there already. Sticky and slippery!!

Now Jon has gone back to Florida and brother and wife left the same day. To say I was blue is an understatement. It's so quiet here now with hubby sleeping and me at the computer. At least I can think straight for a little while. I just have to remember how to post this without losing it like my last try.

That's my news for now. Sorry it couldn't have been up and perky sounding but if you could see me, you'd know perky just isn't me right now.

Have a great day people.

Hugs

I Feel Like A Leaf

A soggy wet leaf, with all the oomph taken out of it. No sleep last night and this morning I just can't get out of my own way.

I started making a huge pot of Chili, half way through I realized I was out of kidney beans. Upon searching in the lower shelves which are hard for me to get to, I also found that I had no little cans of green Chile peppers. Groan, that meant I had to go shopping and in a hurry.

Now just the thought of getting dressed and going shopping turned me off. It also turned my brain to the Off Mode. There I sat in the driveway, key in hand while I tried valiantly to hold my hand still enough to insert key. Helpful hubby came over to the car window and said, "Well turn the key!" My hand was shaking like a leaf in the wind and there way no way I could turn the ignition on. I was ready to tear hair out and not mine! What was he thinking of? Of course I would turn the key if I were able.

Pure frustration won out and I put the car in reverse and backed out. Gee, I felt so accomplished. Then I put the gear in drive and presto, the car cooperated and I drove off, not happily but in a better frame of mine. Once at the grocery store I noticed a few more things I was in need of so into the cart they went. By the time I was finished, my energy had been blown away so I grabbed a half gallon of ice cream as a reward. Next, to the cashier to pay. Ooops, I hadn't taken any cash with me. I found my ATM card to my surprise and delight. Phew, saved...

At home I put away the perishables, grabbed a cup of ice cream and collapsed in my recliner. Then I got up, opened eleven cans and got the chili going. Who says you can't make a great meal out of a can? Hubby just got up from the table and said, "It's delicious and tomorrow it will be even better." Thank goodness I made so much today, for tomorrow I don't have to cook.

Yea, that will give me time to finally get my kitchen table cleared of all the paper work that has been decorating it for too long. I have company coming and it will be nice to all sit at the table to eat together. It's sure been awhile! I love to cook but hate housework. In other words, I'm a slob!!!

If I miss blogging for a few days, I'm sure you will understand. Smile.

Have a good day people.

Hugs

Worth Waiting For

My hubby was telling me stories of his childhood and the things he looked forward to as his family was not financially secure. He lived in West Virginia with his mom, sister and grandparents. He loved adventures and getting into mischief. I can certainly believe that. This is a story I wrote while thinking of him. I can just see him now in my mind's eye.

He stood at the mailbox, one foot resting on top of the other, leaning into the post as if to make himself a part of it. A look of expectancy filled his face, lighting his amber eyes as it candles burned from within. He appeared to be about eight years of age, reed-thin, with elbows and knobby knees quite evident in his tie-dyed shirt and worn denim cut offs. He hair was rusty-red, and stuck straight up like the tail feathers of a rooster. His left hand repeatedly reached up to push the hair from his eyes. He shaded his squinting eyes against the glare of the sun and stared long and hard down the rock-laden dirt road, as if expecting something of great importance to arrive at any moment.

Unable to bear the suspense of his long wait, his feet began kicking at the base of the mailbox post, first one foot and then the other, in short jabbing motions, the toes of his sneakers sending spurts of pebbles and dirt into motion. Hearing a vehicle approaching, his face suddenly became alert, chin pointed in the direction of the oncoming commotion. A red truck carrying a load of noisily clucking chickens appeared, its wheels lurching drunkenly over the rocks and ruts in the poorly maintained country road.

The boy's face fell, his lips stretched taut as if to keep from crying, and his shoulders sagged dejectedly. His whole stance was one of rejections.

The boy, seemingly tired, settled himself down upon the sun burned grass, and once again took up his position as the watchful guard of the mailbox. The hot noonday sun beat down upon the now bronzed hair, warming the defenseless looking boy, lulling him into slumber. He dozed beside the mailbox, his outstretched hand still keeping contact with the post, as if to break the tie would mean the loss of his eagerly awaiting dream.

Suddenly, the sound of squealing tires rent the air. A red, white and blue mail truck came hurdling around the curve. The boy jolted awake by the noise, quickly leaped to his feet, his face breaking into a gleeful grin. His lips let loose a whoop of joy, shrill and full of excitement. His sneakered feet beat a staccato rhythm against the hard, sun-packed earth. At last the driver of the mail truck dipped into his mailbag and brought forth a small brown package and deposited it into the boy's extended hand. As soon as the package lay safely grasped within, the boy turned and quickly sped down his walkway, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs, "Mom, mom, my secret spy decoder ring finally came!"

Have a great day today and enjoy that sunshine.

Hugs

Once Upon A Wave

I silently sit and watch the waves as they crash upon the shore

Breathing in the scent of salt sea air, filling my lungs with their cravings for more.

The seagulls swoop and dive, looking for their evening meal. They don't bother about me watching silently, as if I'm a part of them and so belong.

I focus on the building ebony clouds of darkness as slowly they move and shadow what is left of day's light. Warning me that soon the chilly winds will cool me in the swiftly decending air of night.

I know I'm getting older, I feel it in my bones, in my mind and see it in my eyes. The hair is getting more grey, skin less firm and small wrinkles appearing everywhere, adding character to a once young and girlish face.

My step no longer light and free, but slower and chosen more carefully, least I stumble and fall. For bones once strong are more brittle now, and mend too long a time and much more painfully.

I try not to worry but my mortality is more often on my mind, for others, some much younger have gone before and left me far behind. Oh where do we go when we leave this earth, are we no longer meant to be? Or do we go to a better place, on a different level of being?

It's strange how when as youngsters we can't wait to age yet now that I'm older do I really wish to once again be young? I've learned many lessons, some joyful, some filled with tragedy and pain. Would I really like to go round once more and face it all again?

Our time on earth is limited, we must find joy when and where we can, but must always in the back of our minds remember. that which we leave behind, must be thought of lovingly and hopefully passed on

To the younger ones we've born and raised, with tears of joy and laughter, And promised that they as in the fairy tales, would live happily ever after.

I no longer believe in fairy tales, I outgrew them long ago, when expectations and broken hearts proved them to be untrue. Why do some people choose to live their lives in perpetual expectation of better things to come? Don't they realize we make our own goals come true by what we envision most important to our hearts, mind and soul?

I will leave this earth without regrets and much love for the precious gifts it holds, Nature, in its greatest glory, beauty and wonder, is left for others to unfold.

Joyce,

May 4, 2002

Music and Memories

For as long as I can remember, music has always been a big part of my life. Growing up I would hear my dad working out in the yard singing the old favorites, Ruby, Harbor Lights,

Spanish Eyes and more.

I guess it was only natural that I started singing at a very early age. I would singsong things I wanted to say and usually my aunt would be the one to singsong back the answers. I don't know how I started that, but it was like a secret way of speaking with auntie and I. Then I began to sing real songs and my dad would join in because the songs I chose were really what I heard from him. That and the Good Year Opera Hour every Sunday with the great stars of the day. Of course I loved The Great Caruso and would listen to his records by the hour.

I began singing in Minstrel shows at age eleven,and loved the talented acts by the others. Mostly I loved ballet and as much as I had wanted to take lessons and was refused, the more I dreamed about dancing on the stage. Now mind you, I was a leggy and gangly girl who was more the tomboy type. Also I suffered severe stage fright when I had to get up and do my solo.

Hubby and I would always sing together while taking rides in the car while we were dating. He had a beautiful voice and I was thrilled that he enjoyed music also. He would join in with me when the yearly minstrel show would start practice. I remember when I was ill, I would make him sing and with my head against his chest, the deep sombre of his voice would lull me to sleep. It was better than any medicine they could give me.

In church I would sing my heart out but I was always standing up in the loft, back against the wall where they couldn't see me. I was told that it was like a voice from above and I sounded like an angel. I have to laugh at that because I can imagine the noise of the bodies turning in the pews, trying to find this disembodied voice. I guess that was when I started to be afraid to sing in public. Where the fear came from I don't know but it continued until I had to refuse requests to sing as the soloist.

Later after marriage and childlren, I would sing lullabies to my babies. When they got older they would tell me not to sing. Now that really did it and I held myself in check. They didn't like the arias or the soprano voice. Yet when I was out on the water by myself, I'd really cut loose. Oh to be able to sing like that now. I have to admit that it got me through some pretty tough times. I would lose myself in a song and be in another world. My escape!

Nowadays I can carry a tune just fine but oh my, how I croak. Hubby and I still sing while driving and what I forget in words he remembers, those that he forgets, I remember. It's a good thing we can help each other out. I can just imagine how it would be without the words. Two forgetful older people trying hard to keep it together. After 49 years of marriage, I think we do just fine.

I've been listening to opera, The Three Tenors, and I guess I just got lost in the moment. I had been hemming my hubby's denim jeans but had to stop and give my hands a rest. This is what sprouted from the music and sitting here quietly by myself. I hadn't felt up to blogging today, but this is what resulted from beautiful music and musings. Music, I couldn't live without it.

Have a wonderful late afternoon and a fantastic weekend. Above all, put on some relaxing music and think back and remember. The things that brought you joy and tears. Music heals it all.

Hugs