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Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of my youngest sons accident. On life support for 6 days and then brain dead. We knew it was going to be so for a few days, but hope springs eternal as the saying goes. This morning while trying to clear off the top shelf of my bedroom closet, I reached up and down came a book, hitting me in the head. I was shocked, it was a book full of poetry that I had written to get through my grief. I couldn't believe it, I also couldn't believe how much I had written and how powerful it was. The written word somehow takes the sting out of reading it some years later.
Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of my youngest sons accident. On life support for 6 days and then brain dead. We knew it was going to be so for a few days, but hope springs eternal as the saying goes. This morning while trying to clear off the top shelf of my bedroom closet, I reached up and down came a book, hitting me in the head. I was shocked, it was a book full of poetry that I had written to get through my grief. I couldn't believe it, I also couldn't believe how much I had written and how powerful it was. The written word somehow takes the sting out of reading it some years later.
The wound, reopened, didn't bleed quite as much nor set me off on a crying jag. The words seemed to calm me and I knew then that I was happy with my place in life. I've raised three loving sons and they are not the type to avoid affection. I get plenty of hugs and I love yous. Awkward sentence, but this blog entry has been strange since the very start. Every goof you could imagine has happened causing me to reconsider blogging today. I was unable to begin new paragraphs where wanted and had to use the down arrow to accomplish this one. It's nerve wracking and I don't know what I did different today from other days I've written. Gremlins perhaps?
The past two days have been spent on doctor's visits and a trip to the hospital for lab work and an EKG. Monday it's another MRI. I think it will only take an hour or two to accomplish and surprise, you have to wait up to two hours for your appointment which has long gone by. I was in a bit of a snit and was sorry my hubby and son had to sit in boredom waiting for me. Oh well, that's the system now I guess. I liked going to my Primary Care Physician who would get you in and out as quickly as possible, whether you wanted him to or not. These big Ortho Clinics are something else. I dare not open my mouth about the wait since the surgeon will be the one operating the 16th. No, that would not be smart at all.
All this rain has made me blue and today I will put on another pot of soup to cook. Now that paragraph went smoothly without me doing anything different. What?? Since I'm on a roll I am smart enough to get off the computer for today.
Embrace each day and those you love. We don't get the chance to do reruns when we experience loss.
Hugs
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